Clarity
by The Brunette Weasley
Summary: It is Visiting Day, and Caleb Prior is alone.


**So a while back I published this story under a different name (Briony Black, I think it was) and I can't find the password to my old account so I'm publishing it on this one...just establishing that this IS actually my work and I'm not taking someone else's story.**

**I decided to get back into fanfiction after joining a bunch of new fandoms, and after Allegiant and how amazing Caleb was (even though everyone still seems to hate him) I decided to bring this story back.**

She didn't come.

She didn't come, and neither did he. Of course, I didn't expect him to come, but I hoped that she would. Now it is Visiting Day, and I am alone. I stand with the other forsaken transfers but, unlike them, I have given up hope that I might see either of my parents. Perhaps they are visiting Beatrice. My sister transferred as well, but at least she did not join the "enemy faction." My father may not have liked the Dauntless, but he did not hate him.

I am a different story.

For years, I listened to my father complain about the Erudite. _Arrogant. Selfish. Cruel._ I listened as my parents whispered about the other faction, and I watched as my sister began to hate them as well. And, all the while, I knew that I would ultimately join them.

I have become my family's enemy.

Feeling wretched and alone, I blink back unexpected tears. Tears are illogical, of course. They serve no purpose other than lubricating the eyes. So why do they spring into the corners of mine now/ They have no purpose, no business there.

"Caleb?"

It's Lissa. She's a transfer as well, from Amity. She has become my friend, and now she stares at me with wide brown eyes. "Are you alright?" she asks. Stupid. Not her, of course. The question, I mean. It's a stupid thing to ask.

"I'm fine," I snap, even though it sounds feeble in my own ears. Yanking my arm away from the hand meant to comfort me, I turn on my heel and walk away, head held high.

Abnegation. Erudite. Polar opposites, really. The dull grey atmosphere of the monochrome world I have left behind haunts me, seeping into the flurry of blue that rushes by. Pointless, pointless tears that sting my eyes. They are illogical. They are nonsense.

Emotion is nonsense, really. Perhaps someday, I will be like Jeanine Matthews and invent serums to help benefit the population. Perhaps I will invent a formula to block out emotions. I wonder if it has already been attempted. I will have to research it later.

I stop to stare at my reflection in a window. It is still strange to me to look at myself when I want to, even if it is only a window I stare at. That is the Abnegation in me, the remnants of a previous faction that clings to my mind like a disease.

I have changed in the past week. My hair is beginning to grow longer. I wear blue instead of gray, and glasses—unnecessary in fields other than appearance, but still nice to have—rest on the bridge of my nose. I look older with the glasses. Smarter, even.

Smart enough, I realize, to see through the lies of the Abnegation. How could I have been so blind not to realize it before? Abnegation stifles individuality, tries to dull down who a person really is. For years I had to hide my thirst for knowledge, to repress the urge to tell my parents how I felt about them accusing the Erudite. I wish that Beatrice could have seen it, too. My sister is intelligent. Perhaps, if she had known, she would be with me now.

But they have all abandoned me. My sister, my father, my mother. I am alone. I have no one. While the other transfers reunite with their perfect, happy families, I am isolated.

I clench my jaw. The window reflects anger blazing my eyes. I look fierce. I look determined. Not as brave as my Dauntless sister, but I am still brave because I left. I gave up my life of selflessness to embrace my true self—the part of me that craves knowledge, desires learning, and thinks with a clear head.

Perhaps I am not alone. It is stupid of me to just stand here, alone. I should be interacting with my peers. With Lissa and Nathan and Walter, all of whom are alone as well. Alone today, on Visiting Day.

I will not be isolated,

I will be Erudite.

And I will learn from my mistakes.


End file.
